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May 21 2018

klefable:

we saw a lady walking around with two phones earlier and she explained that her husband was putting the baby to bed tonight so she was on Pokemon hunting duty for both of them. that’s relationship goals if I’ve ever seen it

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msjewbooty:

“i feel u” i say as i begin feeling you. you are soft, like a bunny

accio-shitpost:

sirius transforms into his dog form just to do cool skateboard tricks

americanblackgirlinaustralia:

1995-taboo:

LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kalin Elisabeth, is her name

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rabbiteclair:

nothing wakes me up in the morning like eating eight hundred dollars of cheese out of a sack

May 18 2018

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chyna-ros3:

tybitty93:

eiwilia:

boyznmotionvevo:

ryanvoid:

hortensevanuppity:

broccoleafveins:

Ye olde Windows screen savers.

There are probably kids on this website who are so fucking young they’ve never seen these in the wild

tiny doomcookie 90′s me refused to change it from the creepy house. i liked space and mazes well enough, but creepy house

Those pipes were my childhood

I just went back 15 years ago

Our elementary schools had these screensavers. Could never pay attention to the teacher because I was hypnotized by the screensaver.

I remember

synthgay:

5u5:

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

please see a gynecologist

psychedelicflyingshark:

stargazingsapphic:

what are you, a bad at geography gay, bad at driving gay, or doesn’t sit in socially acceptable ways gay?

Bold of you to assume I’m not all three of these

evikholin:

brain: u gotta be… The Best™

me: ok so we’ll work hard then?

brain: no work… only Best.

boymilk:

gooeyshark:

do you know how many bones the human body has? its 206. we start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. wouldn’t you want to go back? have as many bones as a baby? what if i could help you

hi yeah what the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does this mean

hazedmars:

have you ever met someone that was sunshine in human form

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aydenisabadkid:

airdramon:

awenyddogamulosx:

ruthlesswoodcarver:

mothensidhe:

fatfury:

omgxchrissy:

cumleak:

deux-zero-deux:

demands-with-menace:

Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.

she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.

damn no wonder she died and smiled for a trillion years afterwards

The fact that we know about her is marvelous.

the next Pharaoh after her Tuthmosis III  tried to erase Hatshepsut out of history ,chiseled her name off her monuments ,covered the text on her obelisks with stone,knocked down and defaced her statues .

she was even left off the list of pharaohs ..talk about some patriarchy bullshit

her name was lost for a couple of millennia, her body was found in a unmarked grave  in early twentieth century

sad part is in Egyptian belief is  if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death 

My best friend throwing down some herstory. A+ commentary

She wore a fake beard, you guys.
She was the fucking boss.

If we remember her now does that save her from an awful afterlife?

I’m just picturing the Kemetic afterlife. All the Pharaohs are hanging out in some kind of swanky club, drinking and congratulating each other on being bros. 

The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?” 

Then she punches Tuthmosis III straight in the dick.

Reblog so Hatshepsut can dick punch tuthmosis in the afterlife.

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hellsyeahnudecelebrities:

Natasha Lyonne & Yael Stone - Orange Is the New Black

officialcrow:

limped:

limped:

limped:

He like to call me 🍑 when we get this nasty

Turn that 🍒 out

He 💦 all on my 👗

image

guess i got the radio edit

lovecorp:

lovecorp:

sjsfjh imagine if tumblr had memories like facebook does 

one year ago today you posted: “i wish i could fucking eat dirt like a worm"

skinoutqueen:

I’m a fan of panties being pulled to the side.

EAT PUSSY IT’S ORGANIC

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