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July 17 2017

targuzzler:

predictivetextbot:

You ever just think, like, what the fuck is going on?

the bots have reached peak relatable

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July 16 2017

Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes

sonicsarah1117:

uncannycookie:

Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”

Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*

Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”

Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*

Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”

Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*

Customer: Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”

me: “I love and forgive him.”

Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”

Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*

I still love this lol

My mother is so dramatic lol yo what the fuck I’m dying on the inside.

languages-georg:

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

firstdegreeliberty:

heimwehr:

robloxgf:

suicidalnautilus:

robloxgf:

how dare u reblog my posts but not follow me

If you find a gold bar in a trash bag, will you take the whole trash can, or just the gold bar?

the fuck

cold af

*writes down time of death*

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pangur-and-grim:

pangur-and-grim:

OK after last night’s talk I decided to make a Threadless shop for the three Aspects prints!

they’re available on a number of shirts & jackets, + some random shit like towels & bags & shower curtains. if you’d like a print, the original handmade risographs are still available on the greerstothers.com store

added some tasty dinos to the store!

fierysuggestion:

progress looks different on everyone

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sirjefetheboss:

digoxin-purpurea:

apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!

i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!

Oddly inspiring

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mowilleno:

me as a strapping elementary schooler: haha you study to do good in tests? can’t relate

me, now living with the consequences: hehhahhheha…….. so um.. how do u do that.….. um ….. study thing. how does that happen

imjihlitmoe:

if you dont sing in the car, we not gon work

ex-ception:

Crush was tagged in a cute photo on social media and for days I’m like

image

grapejellyking:

why do parents bust in your room like they trynna catch you cheatin on them with another pair of parents

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imanes:

“some things aren’t meant to last” ok but consider this: I love permanence and consistency

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